Pregnancy

By Margaret Turner

In May of 2007, Trey and I decided that we would try to become pregnant after I had my annual in the beginning of June. I had been using the NuvaRing for around 5 years, so we were prepared for a bit of a wait. Truthfully, we both felt it would take between 8-12 months to become pregnant. Well, there was a bit of a wait – 2 ½ months! The excitement set in.

First Doctor’s Visit Blog September 21, 2007

So, yesterday was the first visit with the doctor. Trey was with me, like a good husband, very supportive. We had our "first" official sonogram, even though I've had two at work so far. Even heard the baby's heartbeat! So I know it is corny, but that almost brought tears to my eyes. Can't quite rule out a multiple birth yet, but keeping my fingers crossed. Oh, and everyone there is extremely nice.

So, how come did I wake up to nightmare at 4am this morning of the hospital cutting my baby out of me?

Let me tell you want I want out of birth. I want it to be a beautiful thing. I want it to be as natural as possible. I don't want a C-sect. I don't want an epidural and I don't really care to have pitocin used either. Now, if something was wrong and one of these things needed to happen, that is a totally different story.

When we met with the nurse (or PA?), whom I also really liked, she was very honest. Stated that women who went in with a birth plan, ALWAYS ended up with a C-sect. I pretty much felt like she was telling me that, yeah, if I want to go natural, that is fine, but I'm going to end up being cut open. She and Trey tried to explain it as karma, of all things!

Now, I love my husband. But I don't think he really understands how much this means to me. He feels that this is my cup of tea, so if I want to go elsewhere, then now is the time. He is supportive of what I want to do. But I don't think that he really understands the why of why I'm bothered. I left the doctor's office feeling down. Not happy and excited. That's not right is it?

I've contacted a doula, who is essentially kind of like a labor couch for those of you who don't know. I really, really like the idea of having one. If this wasn't my first pregnancy, I would seriously consider a birth center with a mid-wife. But that makes me a bit anxious as well, just because I don't know, I don't have any pregnancy experience.

Am I being silly? Paranoid? Are these pregnancy hormones finally beginning to get to me? I don't know. I just want to be able to have a beautiful birth. And let me explain that to me, beautiful isn't about being all birds singing with rainbows and butterflies. No, instead, it is about experiencing the whole thing and then having a release at the end. I'm not saying that I want pain. But I expect it. In an odd way, I feel like I've cheated if I opt for a pain-free birth.

Pregnancy Team

Shortly after the first doctor’s visit, Trey and I met with Gina Philips, CD, who is an absolutely wonderful person and a great doula as well. She was very open and willing to listen to all of our concerns and worries. She didn’t do that thing were you hear these horror stories about birth. Instead, she was extremely positive and was able to melt my stress right away! She also recommended Ann Crowell, CPM, LM as a midwife at her birth center, Gentle Beginnings. After looking at the website, Trey and I both decided that this might be a very good alternative to a hospital birth.

We met with Ann shortly thereafter. As Trey and I drove home after touring the facility and speaking with Ann, we decided that giving birth to our firstborn would happen, if at all possible at Gentle Beginnings. There is a sense of peace that flows from the staff and the center. Trey was happy with doing whatever I wanted and I wanted the center. I felt that my pregnancy would be much less stressful with these wonderful women who saw birth as this breathtakingly natural process. And I was right.

So, we had the beginnings of our pregnancy team. Ann would be our midwife, Gina would be our doula, and who else could I add to this amazing experience? Ann had mentioned that at the birth center they also train future midwives. We were more than happy to include Abby, who is as sweet as she could be. She will make a wonderful midwife once she finishes her studies. Meanwhile, she made a marvelous addition.

I knew that as my pregnancy progressed that my back would begin to ache. What I didn’t expect was for it to begin aching at around 8-9 weeks! Ann had suggested using a chiropractor. I decided to follow Ann’s suggestion, and began to see Cindy, the next-door chiropractor. I saw her throughout my pregnancy and I must say, that without her help, I would have been VERY uncomfortable throughout the entire pregnancy. Cindy was going to be at my labor, but was out of town that day. I’m hoping she will be able to make the next one!

Story’s Birth

On Friday, May 9th, I woke up at 5:15. I thought that I was woken up by the typical urge to go relieve my bladder. After all, that's what pregnant women do. They pee. A lot. I realized pretty quickly that I was cramping, but I wasn't really uncomfortable. The cramps were more like menstrual cramps. I also realized when I went to the bathroom, that I was losing my plug. Yippee! That meant that soon my daughter was going to be born!

I didn't go back to bed immediately as I didn't want to wake Trey up. He was going to be getting up in 30 minutes, and since he works 12 hour shifts, those extra minutes counted. Around 6:30-7:00 that morning I sent a text to both of my sisters that I had lost my plug and that I was going back to bed. I never went back to bed. Instead, I waited until just after 7am to send a text to both my midwife, Ann and to my doula, Gina. Both were supportive and excited for me. Gina even invited me over to have waffles that morning!

Gina only lives a few minutes from us, so I was there by 8:15. Lovely morning traffic and construction! I stayed with her until about 2:00 that afternoon. We had waffles, watched "The Business of Being Born," walked down to a local park, and essentially just hung out. I love her just for that. Having that distraction for such a good portion of the day, really helped. Trey was stuck at work and I would have been home by myself, with nothing to do.

After I got home, I took a nice hot bath and then a nap. Napping was an interesting experience. I would only sleep for about 5-8 minutes at a time when a cramp would wake me up. I did this for a couple of hours. Trey wasn't due to get off until 7:30 that night, which meant he wouldn't get home until 8. And that's if he didn't get stuck with a last minute call. I had hoped that he would be able to get off around 2:30 or 3 so he could come keep me company and also get some rest himself, but they were extremely short at work, so that wasn't going to happen unless I was needing to go to the birth center right then. At about 6:15, I sent him a message seeing if he could get off early as my contractions were more intense. At this point, I'm still thinking that this might be false labor. Thankfully, he was able to get off and was home by 7-7:15.

I sent Ann another text just to keep her updated and she suggested that I drink a glass of wine or a beer and try to get some rest. For those who know me, I don't really drink much and I don't like wine or beer. Now tequila…..that's another story. Trey, who hasn't bought alcohol since before I met him since he doesn't drink at all, went out and got me a margarita wine cooler and a cheeseburger from Whataburger. It was great.

After eating and drinking the wine cooler, I tried to sleep for a bit, but ended up taking another hot bath. I really loved those hot baths and I'm not a bath person. The hot water felt soooo good. The intensity of the contractions wasn't as bad it seemed. Trey and I had hoped to have a water birth, but knew that I might get in the water and not like it. Yeah, that wasn't going to happen!

I didn't want to get Trey up yet since he worked almost a full 12-hour shift and I knew it would be a long night. But finally I got him up so he could time the contractions. At this point, they were about 5-8 minutes apart and lasting anywhere from 45 seconds up to 1:15. Both of us kept waiting for the contractions to get closer or longer on a consistent basis. But the only thing that was changing was the intensity of the contractions. They were definitely stronger.

As my doula (which is a labor support coach for those of you who don't know), Gina was going to come over to the house when I wanted her to. I didn't want to call her too soon, and as I said before, Trey and I both thought that I was in false labor. At about 2 that morning, I told Trey to go ahead and call her. My decision was made partly due to the fact that I threw up a bit in my mouth with the previous contraction and I had been laying down in the tub. Ugh. Not comfortable at all! I was afraid that I was going to start throwing up and I didn't want it to be just Trey and me there if I was.

Gina was there by 2:30. Having her there helped quite a bit. Trey had been great up to this point. But he was getting a bit stressed out. He likes to be in control of situations and here was a situation that he had no control over, it was a new experience for both of us, and since it involved me, he kept thinking of the worst-case scenarios. Gina walked in and took charge immediately. She dimmed the lights, lit some candles that I had out, and just talked to me. It was very soothing. It also helped that I had created a birth playlist on my iPod and that was playing nice and soft in the background.

I remember Gina asking me if I wanted to try to get out of the tub after the next contraction. I said no. And I was very polite about it. I was enjoying speaking and getting my message across with the use of one word, whether it was "no," "water," or "okay" for contraction. And I really didn't want to get out of the water as I just knew that as soon as my stomach area met the air, I would have a contraction. Gina is smart though. She let me have my contraction then said that after a 2 more, we were going to get up and go walk around. She didn't ask me, just told me. And that worked. Just told me what to do and I would do it. That's sort of how I am when I'm drunk too come to think about it.

We did lots of walking around the house, swaying of the hips and different positions. All this to help Story move into the proper position for birth. Trey was there with me the whole time. I would lean on him with each contraction and he would just hold me. At first, he would talk to me, trying to soothe me, but I told him "hush." He did. He did exactly what I needed/wanted him to do. I didn't want his words, just his company.

We decided at about 4:40 Saturday morning to go ahead and head over to the birth center at 5:00. The center is only about 10 minutes away from our house. I put on clothes to go to the center and felt another contraction coming on, so I leaned over a small buffet that I had inherited from my Great Aunt Jo. I heard a soft "phish" sound and felt my water break. We hurried to the restroom so that Gina could help me change pants and put on a Depends. Don't laugh! Those adult diapers are great! Gina called Ann to let her know that we were on our way to the birth center.

Trey got me in the car and told me that he wasn't going to drive like a madman. Which he didn't and which I'm very thankful for. At this point, the contractions were a bit more intense. I think it was in the car that I started to moan a bit with the contractions.

When we arrived no one was there yet. Ann & Abby were on their way. I sat in the car, just breathing and moaning a bit with Trey and Gina on either side of me. Abby got there first and Ann was coming right behind her. I was able to go in and hop into the large tub that was filling up with marvelously hot water.

For the most part, I was in one of two positions. The position that I was in for the majority of the time was on my knees, sometimes sitting back on my feet and sometimes sitting up. The other position that I took for a bit at one point was a squatting position. The only downside to that position was that my legs would get tired.

The atmosphere was wonderful. Once again, the lights were off with candles and the hallway providing what light was needed. My iPod was playing, and Trey was there. He got behind me and would support me in the water.

I'm not sure what time Ann got there, but time seemed to pass fairly quickly. Abby was checking Story's heart rate periodically and they told me to let them know if I felt any urge to push or changes in the uterus area. Up to this point, I was uncomfortable, but not really in any pain. The best way to describe what I was feeling is this: imagine you are EXTREMELY constipated and that you are trying to have the BIGGEST dump ever. Kind of gross, I know, but there you have it.

During one contraction, I felt what can only be described as two knocks on my cervix. I recall saying after that one, "That was different." That was at 6:38 am. The next contraction had just a little bit of a burning sensation. I didn't say anything about that, as I was remembering that it was common to feel a burning sensation as the perineum stretched. There was a stronger sense of burning the next time, and I mentioned it after that contraction. Up to this point, I had not been checked to see how far I had dilated or anything. When I mentioned the burning, Ann looked over at Abby, with a kind of no way look on her face. I sat up on my knees and leaned forward so that Ann could check me.

Turns out, Story had already crowned! Ann and Trey could see her eyes and she was looking right at her daddy! I thought I heard that it was okay to push, but I checked with Gina, and sure enough, after 2-3 pushes, Story was born. Ann caught her head, said "Daddy help me" and Trey caught his little girl. We caught them by surprise. It was only 6:44 and my active labor had started at 3:00. So after only 3 hours and 44 minutes, I gave birth to our beautiful baby girl. She was 9 lbs, 5 oz, and 20 inches long. At our prenatal visits, I had asked Ann how big she thought Story would be. Ann's response was always the same, "These first time moms, abs of steel." And the last time, she said that there was a lot of water, so it was hard to tell. Turns out she KNEW I was going to have a baby that was over 9 lbs! Thank God she didn't tell me!

Trey, Story and I were home by 10:30 that morning. I was to remain in bed for 4 days since I lost a lot of blood. Big placenta it turns out. I didn't mind. I was exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally.

Being pregnant and giving birth is what I had hoped it would be. A wonderful adventure. The painful part was actually here at the house, walking around. Labor itself wasn't too bad. I wouldn't change anything. I had a great birthing team, and hope that they will join Trey and me on our next adventure when we decide to have another.