Hope's Birth Story Day 1

I hate to say it, but the memory is already fading. I wanted to remember every detail, but even if I squinch my eyes real tight, I simply can't remember it all. Unfortunately, that is what happens when you wait until 2 weeks postpartum to write your birth story. I did not intentionally wait this long, but as Providence would have it, I ended up with an upper respiratory infection (almost bronchitis) and a bout with some low iron only a few days postpartum and it incapacitated me for nearly a week. So, now that I'm feeling more normal (what IS normal?) I will do my best to recount our truly amazing experience.

I woke up around 6am on Friday, July 13th. I was on the couch because frankly, that is where I spent the last two months of my pregnancy. As I was laying there I felt not quite a pop, but as if something had "leaked" out of me. I thought for a moment if maybe I hadn't lost my mucous plug and then it dawned on me that maybe my water broke. I got up to go to the bathroom and went I bent over there was a definite trickle of something. Yep. Water broke. I went to the bedroom to change my clothes and told The Mad Monk what had happened. He asked me how long I thought we had and I told him I didn't know seeing that I wasn't in labor. I then called our midwife, Ann and let her know. She told me labor could start within a few hours.

I was laying on the couch a few hours later talking with my mother-in-law on the phone. I laughed about something and once again felt another little gush of something. At that moment, Liver Pie had asked me for something and when I went to get up to get it, I had an all out gush of water. I'm talkin' Niagara Falls! Needless to say, I got off the phone! This would be the first of about 6 of these gushes. I changed clothes several times that day.

The Mad Monk and I decided to go to his mom's house after a little while. She was closer to the birth center and since it was Friday, we were concerned that if something happened during rush hour, we could run into problems. Like, uh...birthing in the van. After staying at her house for a couple of hours (during which I had 3 more huge gushes. So big, she had to wash my clothes!) we decided we were going to go home. I called Ann to let her know and asked her since we were in the area if Dr. Cindy might be able to adjust my back since I was having trouble with my right hip (Dr. Cindy was the pregnancy chiropractor I wrote about in the previous post). Dr. Cindy told us to come on in and she was going to check the baby while we were there. By this time I had lost so much water that I looked only 7 months pregnant! It was the weirdest thing. She adjusted me and told me the baby was engaged in the pelvis and looking fine. She also gave me these adult Depend style diaper thingys to wear for my gushing problem. Let me just say, I have a new appreciation for my 4 yr old's Pull-Ups. We then went home to wait.

It was around 4pm when we got home. We hadn't seen the girls all day so it was nice to just sit and relax with them. Ann called around 8:45 pm asking if anything was happening, to which I of course responded with a big, fat... nope. She suggested going for a walk and so we did. The walk was nice. The girls thoroughly enjoyed it, but as far as labor was concerned, still nothing. So, with nothing else to do...we went to bed with the anticipation of being awakened in the middle of the night with rock hard contractions. Or so we thought.

Hope's Birth Story Day 2

Okay, so there were no rock hard contractions Friday night. I was disappointed, but glad that I was able to get a full night's rest. Ann called to check on things and told us to go for another walk. Might I say that I really hate going for walks when I'm 9 months pregnant and have lower back issues. Not fun.

Around one in the afternoon my niece came and picked up Madgirl, Sis and LiverPie to take them to see Ratatouille. Later on, The Mad Monk and I were just hangin' around the house relaxing when Ann called again. I was secretly screaming, "not more walking!". Fortunately, she didn't ask us to walk, but to come on in. She wanted to check me, the baby and then try and irritate my cervix to see it we couldn't get something going. So, we loaded up and headed to the birth center. We purposely didn't tell anyone we were going so we wouldn't have 59 phone calls!

Ann checked the baby and she was fine. Heart rate was good and she was still down in the pelvis. Yeah! When she checked me I was dilated to 1 cm. Whoopee. I had had weeks of contractions, I thought I could have done a little better than a 1. Oh well. Anyway, after the cervical irritation and other suggested labor inducing methods I did start having contractions. They were real and not Braxton-Hicks! Woo-hoo! Unfortunately, my cell phone rang and our secret was out. The contractions stopped and the phone calls started. Since the contractions stopped Ann suggested we....can you guess? Go for a walk! It was hot and humid outside so we were going to have to go to the mall. ugh. It was Saturday and we all know how the mall is on Saturday. So off we headed to the mall.

On the way to the mall my sister called. Now let me just say that my family had not been the most positive people on earth concerning our decision to use a midwife. It was a dirty word. They were also completely freaking out over the fact that my water had broke over 24 hours ago and nothing was being done to hurry along my labor. Aaaaannnnyway, my sister ( whose almost 16 years older than me) wanted to know why we were at the birth center. I explained everything and told her it wasn't a big deal and that everything was all right. She then proceeded to share with me that when her water was broke for over 24 hours and that she was only dilated to 1 cm and her labor hadn't started that the doctor chose to do a c-section. I'm not sure why I responded the way I did. I'm usually prepared for their negativity and most of the time can take it all in stride. However, it was not to be this day. I hung up the phone and cried. I was so mad! It was not the time to be negative and I just couldn't understand why she said what she did. I couldn't let it go, yet I knew I needed to if I ever wanted to go into labor.

We walked the mall for about 30 miserable minutes. Nothing was starting and I was tired and just wanted to go home. I was missing my girls and just wanted to see them. They were with my sister and I was afraid that she might be making them fearful for me by saying things in passing. I ended up crying after we got back to the birth center and Ann, as usual, was understanding. She said we could stay there and "hide out", even offering to man our cell phones, just to see if labor might get started. After some thought, we declined. I just needed to be home around my kiddos for a while. So, we left.

We we got home we realized two things. One, we hadn't eaten since around 3 that day and two, we were in desperate need of groceries. It was around 7:45pm at this time and The Mad Monk told me to make him a grocery list and he would head to Walley World. So I did and he left to do the shopping. At about 8:30 pm I was sitting at the kitchen table with Madgirl contemplating what I should eat when BAM!, out of nowhere I had this big contraction! A real one! It hurt! The Madgirl started laughing at me (in her 14yo ignorance! Just you wait, my pretty!). I started laughing which made the contraction hurt worse, which made me double over more and by this time the Madgirl had pulled her shirt up over her mouth trying to muffle her laughter. After the contraction was over I went into my bedroom to call my mother-in-law to let her know we were home and that if "something" did happen in the night would she still be willing to come to be with the kiddos. While we were chatting I had two more contractions. Real ones. They hurt. Was it me or were we establishing a pattern here?

After getting off of the phone I continued to have contractions 5 minutes apart. A little after 9pm I called The Mad Monk and asked him how much longer he would be in his Walley World trip? He said he was almost done. I told him he might want to pick up the pace because I was pretty sure I was in labor. He later told me he managed to get two people to let him cut in the check-out line by telling them his wife was in labor. Hmmmm...I wonder if that trick would work any other time? By this time I couldn't walk during the contractions. I was having to stop and breathe through them. I called Ann and left a message letting her know that something was going on and we would probably be in some time in the next few hours. It wouldn't be a few hours though. More like uh...an hour. By the time The Mad Monk had made it home I was on the bed rocking on all fours. I had had diarrhea and a bloody show so I knew this baby was definitely on her way. He called Ann back at 10 pm and told her we were on our way. She said they would be waiting.

I was actually shocked at how quick my labor had come on. I mean, within 45 minutes of getting home from the birth center it started and it started with a bang. The contractions picked up a little on the way to the birth center and I was really having to breathe through them. When we pulled up in the van, Ann was waiting. I didn't even make it inside before having to stop and hold on to the van for a contraction. I had really been looking forward to laboring in the water and the spa was ready and waiting for me. Sweet! I had several more contractions before getting into the water, but oh did that water feel good when I did get in! It was a little too hot at first and they had to poor a couple of buckets of cool water in before I could actually sit down, but when I did, what sweet relief. I started out on my knees with my body facing the wall of the spa. My arms were on the side and I was resting my head on my arms. As I labored in the water the contractions became stronger. I could still joke and talk in between, but was becoming far more serious during them. I was having to vocalize a little during them now. At some point I started getting sick to my stomach. I knew I had thrown up in previous labors, but I thought it was because of the epidurals. Apparently not. I ended up throwing up my toenails. I'm not sure if it was during my vomitous episode or after, but I heard Ann say, "that oughta be good for a couple of centimeters!". I sure hoped so. After getting sick my labor picked up even more. I had turned in the spa and was now leaning against the walls allowing my legs to relax. I was really beginning to vocalize during the contractions now. When I say vocalize I don't mean scream. I guess you could call it a controlled, low moan. I never planned on doing this it just seemed to come out of me naturally. That wouldn't be the first time in the evening that my body would do something out of instinct without me really controlling it.

The next part gets a little murky for me. I was fading fast as the contractions were picking up in intensity. At some point The Mad Monk got into the spa with me and at some point I threw up again. We disagree in what order these things happened so for now we're just going to say they happened. I 'm not even sure how much longer I labored in the spa after TMM got in with me, I just know that's when things seemed to pick up. He was being so sweet during the contractions telling me how much he loved me and how well I was doing. I responded by starting to really vocalize during the contractions. I asked him if he would be mad if I ended up delivering in the water and he told me of course not. However, I didn't stay in the water much longer. Ann thought it was best that I get out for a while. The baby's heart rate was up, my heart rate was up and I was running a fever of 101.6. I was dehydrated. Something had to change.

Hope's Birth Story Day 3 - She Finally Arrives!

Okay, so how'd you like my nail biter ending to my last post? I guess I should have warned you I have a flare for the dramatic? Sorry....back to the story, we gotta have a baby here.

Okay, we have fever and high heart rates, what next? IV fluids, that's what. Like I said before, things are a little murky for me in some of these spots so I have to rely on The Mad Monk's memory for some of this. Anyway, Ann says we are going to try IV fluids, but if the fever and heart rates didn't change then we would have to look into transporting me to the hospital. This information did not make me happy. Actually, part of me was screaming, "yes, yes, transport me! I'm a wimp, I need drugs!". The other part of me was screaming, "no, no, we can't transport me! I want this birth HERE! My negative family members will win!". Like I said before...flare for the dramatic.

Thankfully, after the IV was put in, it did the trick with the problems and seemed to give me a second wind as well. It also felt as if there was somewhat of a respite with my contractions too. Ann had checked me right after I had left the spa and I was between 4 and 5 cm. I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. I thought for sure I was further along because of the pain, but I realize in looking back that I was exhausted from being dehydrated, not because I was laboring super hard. I would also be lying if I didn't want to give up at that point. It took every bit of will power in me not say "forget it". Little did I know what was to come. (enter dramatic music)

I was laboring on my side with a pillow between my legs. I was vocalizing loudly through my contractions now, but it was a release to make the noise. I was working very hard at keeping my bottom relaxed through the contractions, trying to let my uterus do its job in bringing the baby down. Then, it hit me. Excruciating back pain. I would have to say I was about 7 cm dilated when this happened. It happened fast and hard. All of the pain I had experienced prior to this point in the labor would be a walk in the park compared to what lie ahead of me. I believe it was during this time that they realized that Hope was posterior. She was sunny side up and the back of her head was leaving skid marks down my spine.

This is when my "team" around me was invaluable to me. You can not imagine the comfort it was to have these women encouraging me and praying over me. I needed these things more than I would ever know. Dr. Cindy and Cheryl (Ann's assistant) were doing counter pressure on my back and hips during contractions trying to relieve some of my pain. My legs and arms were being massaged. Anything and everything to try and make me more comfortable. I changed to a hands and knees position for a while. I went to the birthing stool for a while. Everything was being done to try and help this labor along. I ended up back on my left side and that would be where I would stay until Hope was born.

I have to be honest and say at one point the pain was so bad in my back that I thought I would die. Really, I thought that. It wasn't labor pain that was getting me, it was back pain. I know I was crying out at this point and I know I screamed once. It was also at this time that Ann was reminding to not let the contraction get ahead of me. It may not sound like sage advice to some, but it was oh so true. The pain was so much worse when I would allow it to control me and give into it. As long as I would keep breathing and stay ahead of the contraction I was coping. I might not have been coping well, but I was coping.

Even though I was coping,I was still delirious with pain. Dr. Cindy decided to try another method for getting the baby to turn to an anterior position. Forgive me for not having the formal name for the contraption she used, but I don't. When I find out or remember I will change the post for accuracy, but for now we will call it the "sling thingy"**. I didn't have my eyes open so I couldn't tell you for sure what it looked like, but what it felt like was this giant piece of material that would go around my lower belly. Dr. Cindy had both ends of the "sling thingy"**and would pull and shimmy the two ends back and forth, shaking my belly. I really do wish now that I could have seen it. At the time I didn't care. Anyway, she tried this method for several minutes and I'm not sure if it worked or not, but I know that shortly after I was 9 cm dilated.

You would think that at 9 cm dilated I would be elated that we were nearing the end... uh not. I was so tired and in so much pain that I was still telling myself, "I can't do this". Funny enough, I had been telling myself this since I was 5 cm dilated and here I was still doing it and doing it fairly fast. I'm such an optimist, aren't I? At this time Ann, sensing my waning spirit I'm sure, asked The Mad Monk, as my head and authority, to please pray for me. I didn't hear what he was saying, but I know I heard him praying and I know it was a balm to my weary soul. I know our gracious God heard his prayers because things changed rapidly after that.

I'm assuming that Ann saw something "down there" to lead her to ask me to roll to my back. She knew I was very close to becoming complete and was checking me one more time. Now, she had told us during our birth classes and during the labor that my body would involuntarily begin to push when it needed to. I knew this information, but apparently I didn't believe it because when it happened it completely took me by surprise. As I was on my back I was literally writhing in pain and then all of a sudden with the next contraction came this completely uncontrollable grunt and push. It was loud and it was long. It was nothing like I had ever experienced before. It didn't matter what I did, I couldn't control it. My body was doing what it wanted to do and my brain could do nothing to stop it! I know I panicked for a moment and then came another contraction with another overwhelming grunt and push. I didn't even know my body could bare down that hard. It felt as if my bottom was turning inside out and I yelled as much ( like they haven't heard that before!). They assured me that was not the case and that it was okay. It was during this contraction that someone began to tell me that they could see Hope's head and that she was coming. With the third contraction her head came out and Ann started telling me to breathe, just breathe, no more pushing. Ha! My body was not about to have any of that! No matter how hard I tried (and I tried hard), as I blew out, my body went into another long grunt and push. And with that fourth and final push Hope Evangeline came flying out like a little, wet, slippery seal! It was 4:42 am on Sunday, July 15th. The total labor had lasted just over 8 hours.

I don't think I can ever forget the emotion of that very moment and I don't want to. I could savor it forever. The Mad Monk began to sob openly when he saw his beautiful baby girl born and it touched me deeper than anything ever before. This grown man, this certified jokester completely melted at the birth of this incredible gift that God had given us. I didn't think it was possible to love him more than I already did, but at that moment our great God gave me an even deeper love for him than I ever thought possible.

I was exhausted and elated all at once. They placed her on my belly and I touched my sweet baby's head only moments after she entered this world. This was something I had never done in four previous births. Let me tell you, it was worth every ounce of pain I endured. She was worth it and I would do it all over again for her if I needed to. She was not taken away from me, but was lovingly left with her momma to see me first and know my voice. Those first moments spent with her were priceless.

Believe it or not, I had less than a 1 degree tear even though my body had literally hurled my child out of me. Ann would tell me later that there was nothing I could do, my uterus had just gone into overdrive. Yep, that's me, an overachiever. In all of my previous births the doctor had always given me an episiotomy whether I needed it or not. I am now convinced they were not needed. Hmm...one more reason to use a midwife?

While Hope, TMM and I were bonding, my wonderful "team" had prepared an herbal bath for Hope and I. Let me tell you, it was THE best. Hope was alert and looking around, taking in her new surroundings. This was also the first time I would nurse her which was very special for me. It was such a soothing and peaceful time for all three of us. We stayed in the bath for about 30 minutes before getting out. After I was in my gown we went back the birth room where our bed was all made and a tray with some sparkling juice and dainty little cakes awaited us. It was so sweet. I think we were still pinching ourselves that this had all just happened!

We were then able to watch our sweet girl get weighed, measured and examined all while we were watching. We didn't have to miss a thing. TMM was the first one to diaper and dress her as well! We were then left to cuddle and rest until we were ready to go home.

While it was a very painful birth it was a life changing moment for me. Some may say I'm crazy, but I wish all of my children could have been born like Hope. Into such a loving and peaceful environment with minimal interference. I can't begin to express how much I appreciated my midwife Ann's, support and presence. My chiropractor, Dr. Cindy was sooooo needed and appreciated. And Cheryl, the midwife assistant, who gave me such comfort with her presence as well. These are people I have come to know and love and I know that I could never go back to any other way of giving birth.

We don't know what the future holds for our family. We pray that somewhere down the line (before I get too old and decrepit!), if it's the Lord's will, that we might be blessed again. Crazy? Maybe. But that's who we are and we like it that way!

**edit: it was called a rebozo. This link tells a little about it.